They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
be right there i have to get my cape
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
