Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
