oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
