My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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