you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
