Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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