shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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