Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
