don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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