Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
