Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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