i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
