I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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