if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
