So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
