Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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