careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
