So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
