In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
