Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
