The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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