sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
