There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
