Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
