haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
