were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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