no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
