i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
