That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize