im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
