Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
