just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
A+ Viking dick
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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