Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
