btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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