I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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