the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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