the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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