Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
