I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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