he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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