he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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