Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
