We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize
