He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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