Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
