Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
