you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
