I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
