"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
