I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
