yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
